the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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