jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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