how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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