Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
