i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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