i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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