never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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