none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
