You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize