i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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