Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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