His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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