Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
