Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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