I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
