Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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