hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
