Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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