I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Houston, we have a squirter
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
