pop tarts are not kleenex
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
