See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
