spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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