Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
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Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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