i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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