great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
