I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
