i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
