Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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