Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
