Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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