it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
COCAINE IS GR8
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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