I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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