I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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