Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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