and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Shame is for Republicans.
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