you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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