Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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