i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
