called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
