your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
