Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
