she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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