literally had 100 drinks last night.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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