I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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