her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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