Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
