Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
