Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
