so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
