we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
