How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Blood and glitter go together right?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
