remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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