I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
