I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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