he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wish my penis had a tongue
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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