i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
