yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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