sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
