hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
why is half of my head shaved?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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