Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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