I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Green mimosas i think yes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize