Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
