I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Randomize
