You don't have asthma, your pregnant
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
